AnneLyze

"Can you wow  a man?",  he wrote.  What did that mean?  Sex, a hot body, chemistry, clearly if I didn't know the answer, then I probably couldn't.  This was not the man for me. Online dating sites are crazy, or maybe I'm crazy for giving it a try.  But where am I supposed to meet men?  I don't go to bars, I work with mostly women and the only men I come into contact with on a daily basis are married with sick wives.  The odds are not in my favor. I've tried Match.Com, e harmony, Craigslist and now POF, also known as Plenty of Fish.  It's seemed easy, put your profile out there and then peruse your matches, kind of like on line shopping.  It was amazing at first, all those male specimens just waiting for me to pick them.  However, a closer study of all the available men verified what I already knew, all the good ones were taken or unavailable.  If I liked big men who drink beer and ride a Harley, pose with a fish in their hand...

Happy St Patrick's Day! May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

I ate a cookie, which may not seem like a big deal, but it was.     re·lapse   intr.v.  re·lapsed ,  re·laps·ing ,  re·laps·es 1.  To fall or slide back into a former state. 2.  To regress after partial recovery from illness. 3.  To slip back into bad ways; backslide. n.  A falling back into a former state, especially after apparent improvement .  Miriam Webster Dictionary It wasn't about the cookie as much as it was about the behavior around it, the stealthy, secret, sneaky eating.  I could feel the panic and anxiety rise slowly in me throughout the day.  Heart beating, mouth dry and sweating, finding relief was all I could think about, all I could process, until I finally succumbed and ate the cookie, bit by bit, quickly, barely chewing and without taste, looking merely for the comfortable numb that follows.  I needed it.  I wasn't hungry and I didn't even register the sweet sugary frosting...

Walking the golf course on Saturday with a friend, the following question was posed. "So are you dating these days?" I responded, "No, men weren't interested in me before and that really bugs me.  I'm the same person." "Do you really think so?  I think you are different, more confident. You need to get over that." she replied. I went on to say that men have never really liked me and I don't really like them much either and after years of living alone, I don't want to answer to anyone. "Yeah but wouldn't it be nice to have someone paint the bathroom for you?", she replied, spoken like a single woman who painted her bathroom yesterday.  She headed home with her dog after the first half of the trail, leaving me pondering my lack of coupling on the second half.  Happiness doesn't come in the form of a man, but it would add something to my life. "I think the lady doth protests too much, methinks" I wou...