AnneLyze

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.  ~Jacqueline Schiff I was mad at the world and myself this past Sunday, so I went for a walk.  No longer comforting myself with food, I thought exercise might help.  The weekend before I had gone snow shoeing in the mountains and I wished I had gone again, instead I wasted my time putting off chores and then moping about my lousy weekend. Walking is so basic, something most of us accomplished in our first year of life.  You put one foot in front of the other and move in a forward motion. It was cloudy, misty and windy, kind of miserable, much like my mood.  My hope was to lose myself in the simple movement and let go of all my anger and angst and let the wind carry it away. Dressing warmly I headed to the golf course hoping to have it all to myself. So what was bugging me?  I hated my job, I hated the bills waiting to be paid sitting on my desk, every male in my life was irritating me, I was behind in...

I bought snow shoes on sale at LL Bean and tested them out at the golf course after the last storm.  I joined the Adirondack Mountain Club and went to the orientation meeting, monthly meeting and signed up for two hikes.  I was ready to push my body and mind past my comfort zone and was willing to put myself out there with strangers, no less. The first Adirondack Club hike I participated in was on Palmertown Ridge in Moreau State Park on Friday.  At the start I was worried about my ability to keep up with this serious group of senior hikers with a peppy, kind leader named Virginia.  But once we started, I fit right in and was able to maintain the pace without difficulty.  The first thing I figured out was if you were going to hike along a ridge, you probably were going to climb up a mountain to get to it. Why that hadn't entered my mind prior to panting my way up the steep incline, I'll never know.  But up I went putting one foot in front of the other...

A year ago I was in complete denial.  I didn't have sleep apnea.  I didn't snore, snort, or gasp for air at night.  I wasn't fatigued, falling asleep at the movies, in front of the TV,while reading or, the scariest of all, while driving.  If my kids read this, they would be laughing.  All those things were happening.  But like New Jersey Governor Christie and actress Melissa McCarthy, I wanted to believe I was the healthiest fat person ever. Being put on a CPap machine, though initially upsetting, was a good thing and I benefited from it greatly.  It was an important step in regaining my health.  Life is so much easier when not exhausted.  But as I lost more and more weight, the fit of the masks became an issue, and waking up in the morning with a sore, swollen,  red nose was irritating. I frequently needed nights off for my nose to heal and found myself wondering if I still needed it because my fatigue level was so low after ...

Even though I have been basking in my new found joy over a body capable of doing almost anything, every once in a while, reality butts in and tampers it down. Six pounds under my goal, it was time to buy clothes that fit and reality looked me in the face as I gazed at my reflection in the mirror in a dressing room at Macy's Department Store. More so now, than 100 pounds ago, I had been avoiding mirrors.  Oh I glance every morning after getting dressed, but I don't stop and study my reflection.  I hadn't looked at my body naked at all until just recently when I was trying on clothes.  My first impression was not good, and though totally fascinated by seeing bones jutting out, my bowed legs (I wondered where Ben got them from), and my rounded and stooped shoulders;  the skin droop was just plain ugly.  I knew that losing a lot of weight would leave me with loose skin, but I never imagined that it would be this bad.  I resemble a stick of softened, ...