AnneLyze

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah"    Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" Have you seen the Special K cereal ad?  The one that asks, "What have you gained by losing?" with the song "Mercy" by Duffy in the background?  At first glance I thought it was kind of hokey, but it resonates something in me.  I have been struggling to find the words to express what I'm feeling since I hit the 100 pound mark several weeks ago.  What I have gained is difficult to describe but it is something that is bubbling up in me and taking over the rotten core that has been holding me hostage for years. Superficially I have gained a new wardrobe, extra pillows on my bed to cushion my bones, the ability and agility to cross my legs, men looking at me, a smaller food budget, and assorted other things that go along with being tiny (yes, that's a word people have been using to describe me lately). But it is the bigger stuff, the non material things that I am marveling at the most.  It's that stuf...

Every once in a while a patient comes along and touches a part of my heart that I keep hidden and protected from everyday life.  T.P. was one of those patients and she recently lost her battle with Endometrial Cancer. Her memorial service was Saturday and I didn't go.  I couldn't, not because I was busy or because I didn't value her, but because it would have hurt too much.  Instead I found myself visiting her Facebook site and the Condolence site at the Funeral Home.  I wept for her family and friends who loved her and myself, not because I couldn't save her, but because I will never see her smile again or experience the kindness and love that was T.P.  Cancer sucks, but if it wasn't for this horrible disease I might never have met her, but I have a hard time being grateful for the disease that brought such a special person in my life.  The saddest part of my job has always been that I never knew my patients before they became ill.  I never kne...