AnneLyze

I think about food all day, every day.  I wake up thinking about breakfast and I go to bed hungry.  Food is so pervasive in my mind, that at the end of the day, I'm not sure what I ate or what I just thought about eating.  I miss it, not the taste, but the numbing quality and the sense of relief it brought me. I don't know how to be Anne anymore.  I don't know how to be mad, how to be bored, how to soothe myself, how to be social, how to do anything without food.  The feelings are too raw without something to numb them.  Every day is a big scary new experience for me. I don't regret my decision and I enjoy wearing a size 8, but the adjustment is much harder than I thought.  I asked about this before the surgery and no one was talking about it.  I could tell it hit home with a few because they wouldn't meet my eye.  I cannot be the only food addicted person to have had Gastric Bypass Surgery.  I know I am not alone. A good friend of m...

Just for the record, I have ugly feet, my toes in particular.  They curl under, to the side or are just oddly shaped.  They resemble little tiny pig appendages.  My feet, I would call them boxy, which is preferable to wide, and sturdy as opposed to stumps, are size six.  I suppose long elegant feet would look weird on my 4"11 frame.  No matter, they are ugly.  Some would argue that all feet are ugly, and it's true to a certain extent, but mine are never so ugly as when I'm due for a pedicure. I entered the Deluxe Spa and Nail Salon hoping it wouldn't take too long.  My mistake, the place was crowded.  I spent my time waiting by examining the polish colors on the wall.  I picked out my usual color Dating A Royal   and sat down to wait, but quickly became antsy and decided to take a closer look at the large palette of options.  There were so many choices and I was soon pondering which color might look the better than Dating A Ro...

Dear Kelly and Justin, You had nine months to get ready and now she is here.  Nothing could prepare you for the amazement of your little girl.  Congratulations. Go ahead and marvel at her amazingly perfect little body.  Count her fingers and toes and kiss her belly.  She's a work of art, a gift from God, and a miracle all in the form of your baby.  It's okay to stare at her for hours. Help her to understand that her body will always be perfect and to honor and respect it. Enjoy her little head as it fits to your shoulder and neck perfectly.  Revel in it and remember the smell and little noises.  Never again will she be this innocent or allow you to hold her for hours.  Let her suck her fingers.  It's a real skill to be able to calm and soothe yourself. It's okay to be frustrated that your little Reese has yet to let you enjoy a good nights sleep or an uninterrupted meal.  It will get better and just when you get it figured out, s...

Somehow I continue to maintain my sanity in my new life with a tiny stomach.  If I let it, my life right now would be totally consumed by numbers. It could drive a sane person crazy and I'm not sure I was sane to begin with. My BMI (body mass index) used to be 46, now it's 31.5 and my doctor wants it to get down to 26.5, though normal is below 25.  My pants were a size 20, shirts 1x.  Today I wore a size 10 pair of shorts and a medium top.  The number I hated the most was my weight, a whopping 226.9 pounds.  Monday I weighed 156.  My goal weight is 130.   I have to chew each bite of food 30 times and wait 30 minutes after drinking to eat and another 30 minutes after eating to drink.  Each meal should be slowly consumed over 45 minutes.  Eating and drinking too fast gives me a stomach ache, accompanied by nausea.  I must get in 60 grams of protein a day and 64 ounces of fluid.  I read every food label carefully for sugar...