It Means Just a Little Bit More
The house is all quiet, everyone is still asleep, all slumbering with past visions of sugar plumbs dancing in their heads. Or......last night's lasagna grumbling in their tummies. It's a perfect time for reflection and savoring the new memories made as I enjoy the Yule Tide Log playing on the television thanks to NetFlix and my new Roku modem.
Long gone are the days when the tree was overloaded (and my credit card) with gifts and the kids still believed in Santa. Back then I believed Christmas was about lots of gifts under the tree. Those days were chaotic and somewhat desperate as I tried to erase and make up for my family being torn in two by divorce. After all, I believed it was all my fault and wanted the boys to know how much I loved them and I was scared that they would choose their Dad over me. Surely some happiness could come from the mall and that stuff could fix my broken heart. It has taken years, but I know now that Christmas means so much more.
Not being a religious person changes the dynamic of the holiday. I don't go to church or celebrate the birth of Jesus. I don't light candles in the preceding days of the advent and I don't thank God for anything except in a exclaimed, memory learned phrase the leaks out on occasion. Instead over the years, I have come to adopt a meaning to the day.
"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."
Or maybe, I finally learned the lesson Dr Seuss tried to teach me all those years ago. The last few years I have tried to make new memories with the people I love. This year, we all got matching pajamas and while there weren't many gifts under the tree, each gift was thought out with love, and the time spent together was more precious than any money or red bowed gift could bring. Thank you Dr Seuss for helping me understand the true meaning of Christmas, the joy of spending time with the three people I love more than anything, Martha, Sam and Ben.
Long gone are the days when the tree was overloaded (and my credit card) with gifts and the kids still believed in Santa. Back then I believed Christmas was about lots of gifts under the tree. Those days were chaotic and somewhat desperate as I tried to erase and make up for my family being torn in two by divorce. After all, I believed it was all my fault and wanted the boys to know how much I loved them and I was scared that they would choose their Dad over me. Surely some happiness could come from the mall and that stuff could fix my broken heart. It has taken years, but I know now that Christmas means so much more.
Not being a religious person changes the dynamic of the holiday. I don't go to church or celebrate the birth of Jesus. I don't light candles in the preceding days of the advent and I don't thank God for anything except in a exclaimed, memory learned phrase the leaks out on occasion. Instead over the years, I have come to adopt a meaning to the day.
"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."
Or maybe, I finally learned the lesson Dr Seuss tried to teach me all those years ago. The last few years I have tried to make new memories with the people I love. This year, we all got matching pajamas and while there weren't many gifts under the tree, each gift was thought out with love, and the time spent together was more precious than any money or red bowed gift could bring. Thank you Dr Seuss for helping me understand the true meaning of Christmas, the joy of spending time with the three people I love more than anything, Martha, Sam and Ben.
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