Three Women

A couple of weeks ago I made a quick trip to NH to spend some time with the three most important women in my life.  I wrote this when I got home, but never got back to edit it and send out.  It was too special to simply discard, so here it is, late but written with love for Nancy, Martha and Mom.

Thursday morning started with a very early drive to NH.  I was visiting my two sisters and my Mom and I was excited.

In the morning I joined my sister Nancy for her daily hike to Beaver Pond with her dog Karma, a gentle, sweet golden retriever.  Hiking with Nancy means being part of her "gracewave", a place for feeling safe, peaceful and one with nature.  I quickly realized that the Beaver Pond Trail also meant being one with mosquitoes and ticks.  But it didn't stop us from enjoying the hike, each other, and the beauty surrounding us.  I always feel safe to share my struggles and my joys with Nancy and Thursday was no different and our time together was filled with sharing and life discussions.  At one point I asked Nancy if she ever saw Ladyslippers and she said no, but a few minutes later, when I looked down there was one in all of it's simple, but regal beauty.  The last time I had seen one was as a young girl on the side of the road on the way to my Grandmother's House.  After all these years, I felt blessed to see one again and share the moment with Nancy.

After a shower and a quick lunch, we were off to to my sister Martha's retirement party.  She had taught in the Bow, NH school district for a long time but after several tortuous years, she made the decision to retire and go in a different direction.  She was a special ed teacher with an emphasis on special.  I knew Martha as an awesome sister with a big, giving spirit, but I didn't know much about Marti, the teacher.  Friends and co-workers of hers told me how good she was and how much the kids grew and benefited from her years of service. The greatest compliment I heard was during a speech when one of the administrators commented that, "Marti was always there for her kids, above all else, she put them first".  Isn't that what we want for our kids, someone to put them first and champion the under dog, especially if they are learning disabled in a world that loves the smart, pretty, athletic children best?  She has a lot left to give and where ever she goes can only benefit from having my amazing sister in their world.  I was so excited to be part of her celebration.  To top off an great day, the three of us had dinner and shared the joy we felt in being together.

The next day, I traveled into Concord to visit my Mom in the Nursing Home.  The last time I had seen her, she had no clue who I was and slept the whole time I was there.  It was beyond sad to see my Mom like that.  

I arrived to find her in the hallway sitting in her wheelchair. "Hi Mom".  And then I heard something I was sure I would never hear again, "Annie.......oh Annie,what are you doing here?"  For the first time in many years, I let down my guard and gave her a long, genuine hug and felt the love and warmth flow between us.  I wheeled her down to the community room and shared my life with her.  She especially loved hearing about Ben and Sam.  A bit later I brought her outside to enjoy the spring flowering trees and fresh air and she loved it.  After picking some of the lilacs, we returned inside.  Before leaving I told her about Martha's retirement party and all the wonderful things people had said about her.  "You are the one who taught her about teaching and standing up for the kids, making it all about them.  You did that Mom, that was from you".  We both had tears in our eyes. 

I left shortly after that as the aide got her settled for lunch.  The joy of the visit stayed with me all the way home and I started to let go of some of my anger at my mom that I had kept close to me all these years;  for not protecting me, not being there when I needed her, and of her allowing her mental illness to rule her life.  It had been a wall between us for many years and it started to crumble in the nursing home first when she recognized me and then during our long hug. 

So that was my special 36 hours with my three favorite women.  Three very different experiences with one commonality, love.