Missing
I had gastric Bypass surgery on Monday. My stomach is covered with Steri Strips, bruises and a drainage tube. It's swollen and it enters a room before me. I haven't stepped on a scale yet, but I know exactly what I'm missing the most and it has nothing to do with food. My mind is gone and in it's place is a foggy stupidity. I can't read, write or think clearly. I hope it comes back. I hope it comes back soon.
I'm not hungry and for that I'm grateful, but I am mourning food. I feel empty. The whole week combined I don't think I have managed 1000 cal. Tonight for dinner I am having no fat Chicken cream soup mixed with unflavored protein powder and no fat chicken broth. HMMMM, but it will ease the emptiness until I eat too much or too fast and it will quickly be replaced by a belly ache. I can only have about 1/2 cup of liquid consistency food over an hour three times a day. The rest of the time I spend sipping fluids. Ice cold water and sugar free Popsicles are the best. Every time I start to feel sad or think about food, I remind myself, I chose this, this is my life now, and I will be successful.
That's all I can write. My mind is shutting down. Off to never, never land.
I'm not hungry and for that I'm grateful, but I am mourning food. I feel empty. The whole week combined I don't think I have managed 1000 cal. Tonight for dinner I am having no fat Chicken cream soup mixed with unflavored protein powder and no fat chicken broth. HMMMM, but it will ease the emptiness until I eat too much or too fast and it will quickly be replaced by a belly ache. I can only have about 1/2 cup of liquid consistency food over an hour three times a day. The rest of the time I spend sipping fluids. Ice cold water and sugar free Popsicles are the best. Every time I start to feel sad or think about food, I remind myself, I chose this, this is my life now, and I will be successful.
That's all I can write. My mind is shutting down. Off to never, never land.
Comments
Post a Comment