AnneLyze

I had gastric Bypass surgery on Monday.  My stomach is covered with Steri Strips, bruises and a drainage tube.  It's swollen and it enters a room before me.  I haven't stepped on a scale yet, but I know exactly what I'm missing the most and it has nothing to do with food.  My mind is gone and in it's place is a foggy stupidity. I can't read, write or think clearly.  I hope it comes back.  I hope it comes back soon. I'm not hungry and for that I'm grateful, but I am mourning food.  I feel empty.  The whole week combined I don't think I have managed 1000 cal.  Tonight for dinner I am having no fat Chicken cream soup mixed with unflavored protein powder and no fat chicken broth.  HMMMM, but it will ease the emptiness until I eat too much or too fast and it will quickly be replaced by a belly ache.  I can only have about 1/2 cup of liquid consistency food over an hour three times a day.  The rest of the time I spend sipping fluid...

I drove to New Hampshire to see my mother today.  She lives in a nursing home because of dementia, immobility, inability to care for herself and a multitude of other health problems. The blank, pale faced woman who I pushed around in her wheel chair was an old lady whose spirit was long gone, a shell of the smart, busy mother from my past.  I'm not sure why it happened today, Mother's Day, but I'm finally getting it.  She did the best she could as a mother. I have been mad at my mother for almost fifty years.  She was not June Cleaver, but Marjorie Anne Sherman Lawton Pyle, and despite the hellish start to her world, she did her best.  Mom was living in her own self centered world most of the time, seeking different ways to find happiness and never quite succeeding.  I was probably one of the few things that she found true happiness in and the more she pushed toward me, dare I say smother, the more I pushed away.  I'm sorry but the desperation in tho...

Mother:  Defined by the dictionary as a female parent. It can be used as a noun, a verb or an adjective, but it should never be used as a precursor to bad words. Motherhood:  This refers to a group of dedicated, multitasking women who lovingly care for their children. Spit up on their clothing, drinking a glass of wine as soon as the kids are in bed, dreaming of mounds of laundry, and driving the family vehicle are some of their characteristics. Their powers include kissing boo boos better, calming a cowlick, high test spit to clean dirty faces, a keen sense of hearing, eyes in the back of the head, and the ability to do a full medical and mental evaluation with a touch and a look. Mother’s Helper:  When they are little, it means finding things for them do, such as picking up pine cones, while you are doing bigger things, such as raking. The activity is a fun family bonding moment. As teenagers, they are sullen and completely useless when asked to help out wi...

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