Processing
I haven't written a post in almost a month. My life has been moving too fast for me to process it and I have struggled to find the words swimming in my head. But here goes.
I have been wearing my C Pap machine every night while I sleep. I'm getting an A for compliance and it seems to be helping me. I no longer have an overwhelming desire to sleep every afternoon and I'm not worrying about finding enough energy to get through my day. However I look like an alien creature and I'm still adjusting to the mask and the fit. On Friday, I'll know if it's truly helping and get pulmonary clearance for my upcoming surgery.
For Easter, I brought Ben, Jah-heem, and Butoto to Buffalo to see Sam and share Easter dinner with him. Friday, Sam gave them a tour of the University and brought us out for wings at Duff's. Butoto and Jah-heem
were the only two idiots who attempted to try the suicide wings. Butoto was the clear winner, but both complained of numb lips for an hour or so. I didn't know black people could turn so red and flushed but they did. Ben and I stuck firm to our no condiment rule and felt fine after dinner.
The next day we went to Niagra Falls. I could see it a hundred times and still be an awe over the power and beauty of the falls. We walked all over the park on a gorgeus sunny day. Most of the attractions were closed, but the walk down along the bottom of the falls was open and the three of them went. This was one of two pictures I took of them smiling and semi willing to have their picture taken. L to R...Jah-heem, Butoto, and Ben.
After lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe, I took some much needed time in the hot tub away from the three of them while they played video games and texted girls.
Easter day we went to the Buffalo Zoo (a small but family friendly zoo) which we all loved, especially Butoto and then went to Sam's house for dinner. Sam shares a house with three other guys. I brought my own pots and pans and after cleaning up a bit, made dinner. Their dining room table consisted of an unfinished door over two workhorses that had witnessed much, based on the Sharpie comments written all over it. I made a great dinner and other than refusing to use the disgusting bathroom and killing 5000 ants, it was fun. On Monday we went home. On the drive back the three of them were quiet and it gave me time to reflect. For Ben and Jah-heem it was no big deal to travel, stay in a hotel, use a hot tub and pool, tour a college, go out for meals, and sight see, but for Butoto it was new, and my joy came from watching him especially at the zoo. I was happy to return two of them over to their own mothers. Unfortunately Ben was mine (just kidding).
My Gastric Bypass surgery is one month away, provided I get my final clearance this Friday. I think about food constantly. Down twenty five pounds, I feel better, but for the last several weeks I've had to maintain my weight. It sounds odd, but to qualify for the surgery I can't lose anymore and I can't gain more than 5lbs. I'm excited and scared to be given a chance at getting to a healthy weight and keeping it off but I am scared that I will fail. As I've been making it known what I am doing, comments from others are hitting home, some hurtful and ignorant, some questioning my decision, but many have been supportive. Those are the comments I listen too. I need to do this and it's the right thing to do, but it's also an anxious time for me.
I'm going to be a Great Aunt. My sister Nancy's daughter is having a baby. Kelly and Justin, I hope you are considering the name Anne. It's been in the family for many generations and there is no way of knowing if anyone else will be having a girl. Just think about it, no pressure. I'm so happy for both of you and know you will make great parents.
Indoor soccer ends today, yeah! I'm sick of sitting inside an arena. It smells, the lighting is poor and the little black pieces from the artificial turf gets everywhere. I'm looking forward to 2 1/2 months of being outside in the sun, watching my son and his friends play and enjoying the company of the soccer parents.
So that's it. My life in an essay.
I have been wearing my C Pap machine every night while I sleep. I'm getting an A for compliance and it seems to be helping me. I no longer have an overwhelming desire to sleep every afternoon and I'm not worrying about finding enough energy to get through my day. However I look like an alien creature and I'm still adjusting to the mask and the fit. On Friday, I'll know if it's truly helping and get pulmonary clearance for my upcoming surgery.
For Easter, I brought Ben, Jah-heem, and Butoto to Buffalo to see Sam and share Easter dinner with him. Friday, Sam gave them a tour of the University and brought us out for wings at Duff's. Butoto and Jah-heem
The next day we went to Niagra Falls. I could see it a hundred times and still be an awe over the power and beauty of the falls. We walked all over the park on a gorgeus sunny day. Most of the attractions were closed, but the walk down along the bottom of the falls was open and the three of them went. This was one of two pictures I took of them smiling and semi willing to have their picture taken. L to R...Jah-heem, Butoto, and Ben.
Easter day we went to the Buffalo Zoo (a small but family friendly zoo) which we all loved, especially Butoto and then went to Sam's house for dinner. Sam shares a house with three other guys. I brought my own pots and pans and after cleaning up a bit, made dinner. Their dining room table consisted of an unfinished door over two workhorses that had witnessed much, based on the Sharpie comments written all over it. I made a great dinner and other than refusing to use the disgusting bathroom and killing 5000 ants, it was fun. On Monday we went home. On the drive back the three of them were quiet and it gave me time to reflect. For Ben and Jah-heem it was no big deal to travel, stay in a hotel, use a hot tub and pool, tour a college, go out for meals, and sight see, but for Butoto it was new, and my joy came from watching him especially at the zoo. I was happy to return two of them over to their own mothers. Unfortunately Ben was mine (just kidding).
My Gastric Bypass surgery is one month away, provided I get my final clearance this Friday. I think about food constantly. Down twenty five pounds, I feel better, but for the last several weeks I've had to maintain my weight. It sounds odd, but to qualify for the surgery I can't lose anymore and I can't gain more than 5lbs. I'm excited and scared to be given a chance at getting to a healthy weight and keeping it off but I am scared that I will fail. As I've been making it known what I am doing, comments from others are hitting home, some hurtful and ignorant, some questioning my decision, but many have been supportive. Those are the comments I listen too. I need to do this and it's the right thing to do, but it's also an anxious time for me.
I'm going to be a Great Aunt. My sister Nancy's daughter is having a baby. Kelly and Justin, I hope you are considering the name Anne. It's been in the family for many generations and there is no way of knowing if anyone else will be having a girl. Just think about it, no pressure. I'm so happy for both of you and know you will make great parents.
Indoor soccer ends today, yeah! I'm sick of sitting inside an arena. It smells, the lighting is poor and the little black pieces from the artificial turf gets everywhere. I'm looking forward to 2 1/2 months of being outside in the sun, watching my son and his friends play and enjoying the company of the soccer parents.
So that's it. My life in an essay.
Happiness. Contentment. That's what I read. Love it.
ReplyDelete