Why?
“Are you an emotional eater?” asked one of my co-workers at lunch last week. Trying to deflect the conversation off my weight and eating habits, I glibly answered, “I’m an everything eater”. Laughter followed just as I had hoped.
But it’s true I am an everything eater, as well as a grazer of snacks, a connoisseur of ice cream, a lover of chocolate, and a yo-yo dieter. My relationship with food is complex, convoluted, and totally unhealthy. I eat whether I’m hunger or not. Every emotion I feel, every experience I have is always in a partnership with food either as a reward, a punishment or as a numbing agent. I think about it every waking minute. I either adhere to a strict set of food rules or I lose myself in the endless disconnect that food provides me. Part of my bypass experience has got to incorporate my feelings about myself and what food brings to my life. Food is more than just the joy of eating something delicious, it is my drug of choice and it's time to let it go.
Since my appointment with Dr Atiles, the surgeon doing my gastric bypass, I have lost ten pounds. Last week I was able to control my eating so well, I started to wonder if I even needed to do this. But then in a moment of angst, I turned to Chips Ahoy and downed ten of them with a glass of milk without thinking, except that I needed relief from the noise in my head. Clearly I still need the help I am seeking and just telling myself to stop eating isn’t the answer.
With Gastric Bypass, I know I can lose the weight (something I have done countless times) and keep it off (something I’ve never been able to do) and it’s that hope that I can keep it off this time that is driving me forward. As I’ve been told by every professional I encountered so far, Gastric Bypass is a tool to help, but the rest is up to you. So to answer the question posed by so many, “Why are you doing this?" Because it gives me hope and hope is the only word that matters.
But it’s true I am an everything eater, as well as a grazer of snacks, a connoisseur of ice cream, a lover of chocolate, and a yo-yo dieter. My relationship with food is complex, convoluted, and totally unhealthy. I eat whether I’m hunger or not. Every emotion I feel, every experience I have is always in a partnership with food either as a reward, a punishment or as a numbing agent. I think about it every waking minute. I either adhere to a strict set of food rules or I lose myself in the endless disconnect that food provides me. Part of my bypass experience has got to incorporate my feelings about myself and what food brings to my life. Food is more than just the joy of eating something delicious, it is my drug of choice and it's time to let it go.
Since my appointment with Dr Atiles, the surgeon doing my gastric bypass, I have lost ten pounds. Last week I was able to control my eating so well, I started to wonder if I even needed to do this. But then in a moment of angst, I turned to Chips Ahoy and downed ten of them with a glass of milk without thinking, except that I needed relief from the noise in my head. Clearly I still need the help I am seeking and just telling myself to stop eating isn’t the answer.
With Gastric Bypass, I know I can lose the weight (something I have done countless times) and keep it off (something I’ve never been able to do) and it’s that hope that I can keep it off this time that is driving me forward. As I’ve been told by every professional I encountered so far, Gastric Bypass is a tool to help, but the rest is up to you. So to answer the question posed by so many, “Why are you doing this?" Because it gives me hope and hope is the only word that matters.
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