Suspended
My son is an affectionate, goofy, athletic, smart, oblivious, and funny boy. He loves video games, hanging with friends, eating, and soccer. Pajama Mondays and sleep pant Fridays are his personal dress code and when he decided to be Shaggy from Scooby Doo for Halloween, it was totally believable. He hasn’t a clue about what’s happening around him, but its OK with him, because he is comfortable in his own skin. Teachers, Coaches and parents like him and even when I want to strangle him, I also want to hug him. He tells me every day that he loves me, even if he doesn’t want something. When I hear him charging down the stairs, jumping several at a time, I smile. There is something endearingly simple and sweet about Benjamin.
On Monday, the school called. I was shocked when I was told to come pick him up because he had been suspended for five days……………..for hitting a girl. The safety officer met me at the door with Ben slinking behind him, head down, and shuffling in his flip flop, enclosed, over sized feet. In a clear, don't mess with me tone, I was told what happened. Glancing over at Ben, I saw how upset he was. Eventually he bent down to show me the bruise forming on his forehead.
Ben was exiting the lunch room with his bulging backpack on when he bumped into a girl with his pack. She became aggressive and angry that he touched her and invaded his space, spewing verbal assaults at him. Ben pushed her away from him and she punched him in the forehead. He yelled at her to back off, he didn’t want to fight a girl, when the hall monitors noticed the fight and restrained her from going after him. They were both suspended for five days for physical assault. Ben was close to tears, equally afraid of my possible anger at his behavior and that I would embarrass him in the school hallway. He was wrong. I didn’t embarrass or yell at him. Instead I calmly brought him home and went back to work, furious with the stupid ass school and the crazy girl he had encountered.
I called the school several times that day and met with the principal the next. Each time they patiently explained to me that Ben told them exactly what happened as verified on the video tape, but it didn’t change the fact that even though he was defending himself, he clearly touched her and as per the school rules that meant he was suspended for five days. It could be explained to me one hundred more times and I would still disagree. They didn’t care that he was a sweet boy who would never hit a girl, that he didn’t know what else to do, that girl drama totally befuddled him or that it took him several minutes to even know what was going on in his slowed down teenage boy brain that uttered “wait, ….what?” to each and every encounter; to them it only mattered that he hit a girl.
On Monday, the school called. I was shocked when I was told to come pick him up because he had been suspended for five days……………..for hitting a girl. The safety officer met me at the door with Ben slinking behind him, head down, and shuffling in his flip flop, enclosed, over sized feet. In a clear, don't mess with me tone, I was told what happened. Glancing over at Ben, I saw how upset he was. Eventually he bent down to show me the bruise forming on his forehead.
Ben was exiting the lunch room with his bulging backpack on when he bumped into a girl with his pack. She became aggressive and angry that he touched her and invaded his space, spewing verbal assaults at him. Ben pushed her away from him and she punched him in the forehead. He yelled at her to back off, he didn’t want to fight a girl, when the hall monitors noticed the fight and restrained her from going after him. They were both suspended for five days for physical assault. Ben was close to tears, equally afraid of my possible anger at his behavior and that I would embarrass him in the school hallway. He was wrong. I didn’t embarrass or yell at him. Instead I calmly brought him home and went back to work, furious with the stupid ass school and the crazy girl he had encountered.
I called the school several times that day and met with the principal the next. Each time they patiently explained to me that Ben told them exactly what happened as verified on the video tape, but it didn’t change the fact that even though he was defending himself, he clearly touched her and as per the school rules that meant he was suspended for five days. It could be explained to me one hundred more times and I would still disagree. They didn’t care that he was a sweet boy who would never hit a girl, that he didn’t know what else to do, that girl drama totally befuddled him or that it took him several minutes to even know what was going on in his slowed down teenage boy brain that uttered “wait, ….what?” to each and every encounter; to them it only mattered that he hit a girl.
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