Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Recently the Pentagon surveyed 115,052 troops and 44,266 spouses regarding Gays in the Military. The Defense Department, based on the survey, concluded “that openly gay people can serve in the US military without harming national security”. This was reported in the December 13, 2010 edition of Time magazine. The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law is 17 years old and last May the House voted to repeal it. It is now up to the Senate to decide its fate. The New England Journal of Medicine reported in their December issue, that the current “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy puts troops at risk. Because Gay members of the military fear giving full medical histories, expressing medical concerns and questions, it increases the risk of spreading disease.
It got me thinking about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” things in my personal life. How many times a week do I think,”what I don’t know won’t hurt me”, or “ignorance is bliss”? Is it okay to not ask and therefore not know? And does the enormity of the action or policy change your opinion?
My oldest son, Sam is in college. At twenty, I consider him an adult. Honestly I can guess what he does, but I don’t know and I feel comfortable with that. I trust that I have provided him with the skills and values he needs. But I also suspect that he drinks and underage alcohol consumption is illegal. If I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell, am I as a parent losing out on an honest discussion that could potentially save his life? It’s not a simple question. How many parents believe “what they don’t know won’t hurt them”? I love my child but he isn’t perfect. There is a fine line between being a smother mother and being a good parent.
What about my patients undergoing chemotherapy? I know that marijuana use is illegal but I also believe it could help some of them. End stage ovarian cancer is not pretty. Chemotherapy and disease induced nausea can be difficult to treat and lack of appetite is common. Pot could help them, but legally I can’t suggest it. Where do you draw the line between being a good nurse and a compassionate caregiver? Most of the time I don’t ask and they don’t tell. Good for them.
It is a complicated question especially when politics are mixed in it. Common sense and the law rarely go hand in hand. I didn’t agree with the law 17 years ago, and I don’t agree with it now. But it isn’t as simple of a question as I thought. If 17 years ago, the powers that be had just said enough, and allowed gays in the military, we wouldn’t be stuck with a law called “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. And if we believe the law is unjust and dishonest, then we might need to take a closer look at how we live our own life and how our government governs us. What else are we not asking because we don’t want to know the answer to?
It got me thinking about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” things in my personal life. How many times a week do I think,”what I don’t know won’t hurt me”, or “ignorance is bliss”? Is it okay to not ask and therefore not know? And does the enormity of the action or policy change your opinion?
My oldest son, Sam is in college. At twenty, I consider him an adult. Honestly I can guess what he does, but I don’t know and I feel comfortable with that. I trust that I have provided him with the skills and values he needs. But I also suspect that he drinks and underage alcohol consumption is illegal. If I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell, am I as a parent losing out on an honest discussion that could potentially save his life? It’s not a simple question. How many parents believe “what they don’t know won’t hurt them”? I love my child but he isn’t perfect. There is a fine line between being a smother mother and being a good parent.
What about my patients undergoing chemotherapy? I know that marijuana use is illegal but I also believe it could help some of them. End stage ovarian cancer is not pretty. Chemotherapy and disease induced nausea can be difficult to treat and lack of appetite is common. Pot could help them, but legally I can’t suggest it. Where do you draw the line between being a good nurse and a compassionate caregiver? Most of the time I don’t ask and they don’t tell. Good for them.
It is a complicated question especially when politics are mixed in it. Common sense and the law rarely go hand in hand. I didn’t agree with the law 17 years ago, and I don’t agree with it now. But it isn’t as simple of a question as I thought. If 17 years ago, the powers that be had just said enough, and allowed gays in the military, we wouldn’t be stuck with a law called “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. And if we believe the law is unjust and dishonest, then we might need to take a closer look at how we live our own life and how our government governs us. What else are we not asking because we don’t want to know the answer to?
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