The Stink Of It
One week ago Tuesday, a skunk invaded my house and the smell was overwhelming. One minute I was brushing my teeth and the next the house smelled. I'm not sure where or how or why he sprayed but I do know it smelled. Somehow we managed to sleep.
The next day we got up, I went to work and Ben went to school. We were happy to leave the house because it reeked. Twenty minutes later the school called. "Mrs Wells, please pick up Ben. He smells like skunk." I left work fuming and picked up Ben and brought him home. "Change and I'll bring you back." Well to keep it short, Ben absolutely refused to go back. He stayed home and I went back to work. But guess what? I smelled too. Later than day, I rushed home and picked Ben up for soccer. On the way we picked up Eric and Emmanuel, two of the smelliest, stinkiest boys ever. It was worse than skunk. How come they don't get sent home from school? Ben opened his window and we looked at each other and laughed. We then picked up Jackson, who God bless him, didn't mention either awful smell and chattered all the way to the game. After the game, they smelled even worse and I happily dropped them off at their house, hopefully to bathe, and Ben and I went to the grocery store for air freshener. Ben picked out approximately twenty different products and we went home. By the end of the night I had sprayed, scrubbed, vacuumed, washed, sprayed some more, and washed the kitchen floor. My house smelled like skunk, flowers and Mr Clean. I was exhausted.
The next morning, the house still reeked and I opened windows, sprayed some more and dropped Ben off at school (he walked part of the way to air out) and I went to work. My prayers were answered when the school did not call. Ben shared the story at school and his French teacher called him Pepe La Peu. On the way home I stopped at the Food Coop and bought Pure Peppermint Oil. A patient had suggested it after smelling me. So Ben and I doused about 50 cotton balls with peppermint oil and spread them throughout the house and it worked, mostly.
In the meantime, Ben yanked an electrical outlet partly out of the wall by sitting on it (don't ask) and got shocked on his butt and it shorted out the cable box. Also I have been dealing with my jaw problem and I am in the process of ordering a mouth guard that I will be wearing 24/7 at the tune of $675.00, none of which will be covered. And to top it off, soccer drama has returned. Plus, three large hairy houseflies have moved in. Isn't it winter? Really life could not get more irritating. I worked my second job all weekend and my phone and beeper went off non stop. If it could have happened, it did. It was hellish, but at least I made enough money to cover my mouth guard. Normally Ben is with his Dad when I work weekends, but he wanted to stay with me. Why I asked, the house smelled, the cable box was broken and we bicker like an old couple. He had PLANS. I said fine, but I could not provide him any rides. Twenty minutes later he asked for a ride to the Mall. So I dealt with it all in typical Anne fashion, namely a FUCK YOU FOOD FRENZY, and promptly gained three pounds.
After work on Monday, I went for a swim. I was so tense and uptight. I dipped a toe in and the water was cold, "Oh great!". At that point I was possessed by a crazy person and I went to the deep end and did a huge CANNONBALL. I rose to the surface of the water and the tension rolled off me. I heard one of the lifeguards say "was that Sam Wells' Mom?". I turned around and they all had shocked smiles on their faces and I started to laugh. I wanted to do it again, it felt so great, but only a real crazy person would do that. I sang "Joy To The World", the old Three Dog Night song to myself for the whole swim. Crazy is sometimes good.
It's now one week later and my house smells 75% peppermint oil and 25% skunk. My ex suggests renting a air cleaning machine. I ignore him. Ben and I pick up Eric and Emmanuel to bring them to the game and they still smell and we opened the windows. Jackson luckily gets a ride from his parents. My cable box has been replaced and my new favorite person is the man who fixed my outlet. Soccer drama continues and I have written another letter to the Soccer Board. My face doesn't hurt as much but I'm getting kind of sick of the joke about facial pain. "Does your face hurt? Cause it hurts me to look at it!!!" I love Ben when he is being clever. I stopped my eating frenzy and somehow life goes on. It's crazy, irritating, joyful, weird, sad and fun, but it's all mine. I just wish it smelled better!
The next day we got up, I went to work and Ben went to school. We were happy to leave the house because it reeked. Twenty minutes later the school called. "Mrs Wells, please pick up Ben. He smells like skunk." I left work fuming and picked up Ben and brought him home. "Change and I'll bring you back." Well to keep it short, Ben absolutely refused to go back. He stayed home and I went back to work. But guess what? I smelled too. Later than day, I rushed home and picked Ben up for soccer. On the way we picked up Eric and Emmanuel, two of the smelliest, stinkiest boys ever. It was worse than skunk. How come they don't get sent home from school? Ben opened his window and we looked at each other and laughed. We then picked up Jackson, who God bless him, didn't mention either awful smell and chattered all the way to the game. After the game, they smelled even worse and I happily dropped them off at their house, hopefully to bathe, and Ben and I went to the grocery store for air freshener. Ben picked out approximately twenty different products and we went home. By the end of the night I had sprayed, scrubbed, vacuumed, washed, sprayed some more, and washed the kitchen floor. My house smelled like skunk, flowers and Mr Clean. I was exhausted.
The next morning, the house still reeked and I opened windows, sprayed some more and dropped Ben off at school (he walked part of the way to air out) and I went to work. My prayers were answered when the school did not call. Ben shared the story at school and his French teacher called him Pepe La Peu. On the way home I stopped at the Food Coop and bought Pure Peppermint Oil. A patient had suggested it after smelling me. So Ben and I doused about 50 cotton balls with peppermint oil and spread them throughout the house and it worked, mostly.
In the meantime, Ben yanked an electrical outlet partly out of the wall by sitting on it (don't ask) and got shocked on his butt and it shorted out the cable box. Also I have been dealing with my jaw problem and I am in the process of ordering a mouth guard that I will be wearing 24/7 at the tune of $675.00, none of which will be covered. And to top it off, soccer drama has returned. Plus, three large hairy houseflies have moved in. Isn't it winter? Really life could not get more irritating. I worked my second job all weekend and my phone and beeper went off non stop. If it could have happened, it did. It was hellish, but at least I made enough money to cover my mouth guard. Normally Ben is with his Dad when I work weekends, but he wanted to stay with me. Why I asked, the house smelled, the cable box was broken and we bicker like an old couple. He had PLANS. I said fine, but I could not provide him any rides. Twenty minutes later he asked for a ride to the Mall. So I dealt with it all in typical Anne fashion, namely a FUCK YOU FOOD FRENZY, and promptly gained three pounds.
After work on Monday, I went for a swim. I was so tense and uptight. I dipped a toe in and the water was cold, "Oh great!". At that point I was possessed by a crazy person and I went to the deep end and did a huge CANNONBALL. I rose to the surface of the water and the tension rolled off me. I heard one of the lifeguards say "was that Sam Wells' Mom?". I turned around and they all had shocked smiles on their faces and I started to laugh. I wanted to do it again, it felt so great, but only a real crazy person would do that. I sang "Joy To The World", the old Three Dog Night song to myself for the whole swim. Crazy is sometimes good.
It's now one week later and my house smells 75% peppermint oil and 25% skunk. My ex suggests renting a air cleaning machine. I ignore him. Ben and I pick up Eric and Emmanuel to bring them to the game and they still smell and we opened the windows. Jackson luckily gets a ride from his parents. My cable box has been replaced and my new favorite person is the man who fixed my outlet. Soccer drama continues and I have written another letter to the Soccer Board. My face doesn't hurt as much but I'm getting kind of sick of the joke about facial pain. "Does your face hurt? Cause it hurts me to look at it!!!" I love Ben when he is being clever. I stopped my eating frenzy and somehow life goes on. It's crazy, irritating, joyful, weird, sad and fun, but it's all mine. I just wish it smelled better!
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