AnneLyze

I've been thinking all week about what I want in 2010. I want to be happy, that's obvious, but there are some very specific things I want to happen this year. * I want to get to 140lb by March 1 and stay between 138 and 143lb. * I want to continue to own up to my food issues. * I want to find balance in my life. * I want to reduce negativity in my life and not be a hater. * I want to find joy in my life and embrace it. * I want to swim 4800 meters for my 48th birthday in October and I want to do Freihofer's Run For Woman in June. * I want to climb a mountain IN NICE WEATHER with Nancy. * I want to open my heart to love and new experiences. Not a bad list, but I also recognize that there are things in my way, namely my head and my knees. I am a work in progress still and forever. I would love to hear from others about their thoughts and dreams for 2010. Maybe we can team up on some on these things. My best wishes for a happy and healthy New Year. 2009 was a pretty good year ...

Make a Smilebox greeting

I thought I had it together this year. I thought that this would be the year that I would love Christmas again. I was very excited for it to come. And then it hit, for the fourth straight year, I would be alone for Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day. The old me was creeping in "Christmas isn't meant for people like me. It's only meant for people who have someone who loves them. If I just hadn't failed in my marriage, I wouldn't be punished like this." This was also the second straight year I didn't have them for Thanksgiving. For some reason Bill can't bring Ben to soccer or watch one of his games or buy them shoes, but he gets them every year at Christmas and I simply roll over and let it happen. I have it planned out what I'm going to do. I'll go for a swim (the benefits of swimming at the Jewish Community Center). I'll get food ready for the weekend. I'll make the best dinner ever. I'll sleep late. It will be okay...

Christmas is in two weeks and rather than panic about everything I haven't got done, I am going to enjoy every minute of the season. Every year it's a big rush and I get crazy and I hate it. Not this year. Last weekend I went with friends and got a holiday pedicure. We all got red nail polish with little snowflakes on the big toe and then we had brunch together. Sunday Ben and I went to the City Tree Lighting ceremony and then to a friend's house for a gathering and good food. Today Ben is going to the movies with a bunch of friends and tomorrow he has a couple of soccer games. I hoping we can get the tree up tonight. Eventually I'll take the nerf bullets off the curtains from last time Ben tried to kill me. But for now I'm pretending they're not there. I love making cookies and rather than kill myself making perfect ones, I'm going to just bake three kinds and make them with love for the people who mean so much to me. Rather then buy too many gifts for the ...